You know what I’m talking about. The clock is on that 10 second count down – you rush to the chalk bucket and grab that last minute two handfuls of chalk. “Running out of time” you think to yourself as you crush that powder into your hands running towards your barbell. It literally feels like you put on a protective layer of white awesomeness.

 

And the rest of the gym just watched your dumb ass drag a trail of chalk across the floor. Two people are choking on the dust cloud you stirred up – but hell with their thrusters, you got BeastMode engaged! 6 reps in and you feel like your powers are draining “gotta get more chalk”. Run to the chalk bucket in a frenzy stir up more shit, repeat 5 more times – BOOM, 10 minute Fran.

 

“This chalk sucks” you complain. “I kept slipping off the pull up bar” or “I couldn’t grip my barbell – the wall ball kept slipping out of my hands”. Complaining while you look like Swamp Thing fell in the damn chalk bucket.

 

 

Rivers of sweat are pouring off of you – Barbells, Pull up bars and wall balls are all caked in a slimy white mud. A trail of sweat and chalk follows you everywhere – there is even chalk mud on the damn urinal for cryin out loud..

 

 

Then the best part – you put the equipment away like that. Sweet Odin’s Raven what the hell is wrong with you?

 

Im going to let you in on a little secret. Your hands don’t sweat as much as you think they do, bud. It’s your arms, your shoulders, your back – all draining down your arms to pool up in your hands. STOP caking on chalk, its making a mud pie and doing you no good. It makes you look like its your first day – not ┬áthe Beast Mode Engaged bad ass muther trucker you think you are.

 

Sport has been around for quite a while kids. Every sport where dry hands are required, you will typically find sweat bands around the wrist. Basketball, Football – whatever, if grip is important – dry hands are too. Look – I dont like to wear a shirt when I WOD, but I always have something on my wrist to stop the sweat from dripping down into my hands. Keep your hands dry – its a priority.

 

Stop the swampfest of sweat going to your hands – and by default the chalk you want to use will actually work like its supposed too. You may even learn that less is more when it comes to chalk usage. ┬áHoly shit – mind blown. You are welcome. I dont even sell wrist bands – but I feel like this is important. And what CrossFitter doesn’t want an excuse to go buy more neon shit? Hell, get a few pair and mix them up like your socks. Neon = legit semi pro exerciser.

 

**This is a comedic opinion piece, not a scientific blog directed at you. If, however – you feel it was about you, please take a second to remove the stick in your butt, or buy some wrist sweat bands.